Medical Careers That My Parents Will Be Happy About?

Hi,

I’ve always dreamed of becoming a doctor. But my parents don’t think that going to medical school is a good idea for a frum girl, especially before I’m married. We have an excellent relationship, and I don’t want to disobey or disappoint them, but I just can’t see myself doing anything else. Are there any medical careers that could satisfy both of us?

I take issue with your question. Asking, “Are there any medical careers that could satisfy both of us?” begs for mediocrity.

I suspect that you’re not asking me to suggest becoming a nurse, sonographer, or an EMT. I also have a hunch that you know there isn’t a magical career that combines all the interesting parts of being a doctor without necessitating  medical school. At this point, any other career that you choose will inevitably feel like a terrible knockoff of your dream.

Another problem here is that you haven’t yet owned this decision. You’re trying to fulfill your dreams and satisfy your parents, and you feel torn. It’s time to take the (admittedly scary) path toward adulthood, and make this decision for yourself. Unless you can take full responsibility for a decision, you’ll always have someone else to blame. Assuming you don’t want to be a resentful 59-year-old, you need to make this decision all for yourself now.

A good way to do this is by choosing a rav for yourself. Your parents’ rav is a great option — but again, make sure that following this particular rav is a choice you’ve made. Having a conversation on your own with a mentor you respect can help you navigate this decision .