“And it was, when [Rochel’s] soul left, because she died, that she named him Ben Oni [son of my pain]….” (Bereishis 35:18)
When parents name a child, they’re investing him with the powers embedded in that name. When the Imahos hakedoshos named their sons, they endowed each with the essence that would be incorporated into his shevet’s unique attributes.
The names Rochel Imeinu gave her sons seem enigmatic. Yosef was named based on her prophecy that “Hashem shall add another son for me.” How does this define his tafkid?
She named her second child “son of my pain.” Did she want him to constantly remember that he caused her painful death? (Rav Dovid Hofstedter, Dorash Dovid)
Our family loves to repeat the story in which my young niece chastises her brother, “You’re not allowed to say Mommy’s real name! Now repeat after me, Baruch shem k’vod malchuso…”
It’s laughable, but the joke has become less funny to me over the last few years, since I was zocheh to name my youngest after my father z”l. We merited having Rav Chaim Kanievsky ztz”l as his sandek, and watching my baby rest on Rav Chaim’s lap as this meaningful name was announced filled an aching void with gratitude and peace.
Rochel is the only wife of Yaakov who is called akeres habayis. The Midrash Rabbah says that in the desert, the tribes from Rochel camped to the west of the Mishkan, where the Shechinah rested. Additionally, the Zohar teaches that the Shechinah dwells among earthly beings in Rochel’s merit. The Maharal further says that the Shechinah came to dwell in Yaakov’s house because of Rochel’s avodah.
Rochel’s unique mission was to provide the foundation upon which the Shechinah would dwell among Yisrael. That’s why the Bais Hamikdash and Mishkan were in the portions of Rochel’s children.
However, when the simchah bubbles settled, I realized I was faced with a dilemma. All our lives, we’re taught not to say our parents’ names. Now, suddenly, I was supposed to coo my father’s name while wiping spit up, changing a diaper, or rocking a restless soul at midnight?
I confess. I couldn’t do it. I appreciated this baby’s direct connection to my father, but I couldn’t say his name.
