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I am married to a wonderful ben Torah. My husband and I have a very good honest relationship in most areas except for one. I have a problem trusting my husband when it comes to the internet. We have a password on the computer that only I know per my husband’s request. I was recently out of town with my children for a few days and when I came back I saw on the internet history that my husband has been watching some TV episodes and been on extremely questionable websites. How did he get on? I believe he asked my friend for the password as she sometimes borrows the computer and knows it. Why did I check? Because it’s happened before.

One recent bein hazmanim my husband asked me for the password as he said he would like to be able to read the news to relax while I’m at work. I did not want to be his mashgiach so I gave it to him. Again I checked the history and saw some questionable sites. He’s also watched movies and read inappropriate books online.

I find myself losing respect for him. He talks as if he’s so against the internet but when put to the nisayon he does not always pass the test. I feel hurt that he could do something like this. How should I respond? Should I speak to his rosh yeshivah who he respects? Should I speak to him directly and let him realize I don’t trust him? Please help me figure out what to do and say.

Rabbi Zev Leff is the rav of Moshav Mattityahu rosh yeshivah of Yeshiva Gedolah Matisyahu and rosh kollel of Kollel Yesod Refael. R’ Leff is an internationally-recognized lecturer and teaches in numerous seminaries where he is valued for his incisive classes which combine scholarship wit and a deep understanding of contemporary issues.