On Wings of Songs

I have a complicated relationship with zemiros Shabbos. Growing up, we had a standard Friday night and Shabbos day zemiros repertoire that always seemed to directly precede dessert. Although I enjoy singing, there were many weeks when zemiros felt like a final Olympic hurdle before the chocolate cake.

Once I matured somewhat I began to appreciate the beauty of this minhag, especially after spending seminary Shabbosim with impossibly musical families who made Kah Echsof a symphonic experience. “When I get married, my family will definitely sing like that,” I vowed.

But here I am two decades later, and to my surprise, they don’t. And unless we hire a voice coach and conductor, they likely never will. Zemiros in our home are an organic affair, participation is voluntary, and we are definitely not getting invitations to Lincoln Center.

My experience is not unique. Many women, particularly those with young children, dream of philharmonic-style zemiros, when in reality, their husband is performing solo to an orchestral backup of bickering offspring. Considering the challenges, why do we invest so much significance in singing on Shabbos? What’s the minhag of zemiros all about?