In the car, I thought about what I’d experienced. As a social worker, and someone with a generally more anxious personality, I wondered if the sensations I’d had were related to some sort of anxiety or panic disorder.
I experienced this sensation a few more times over the next few years, but it always seemed to resolve quickly before I could really put a finger on what was going on. Also, as a busy mother, I didn’t have too much time to dwell on what was happening.
Six years after the first incident, shortly after moving to a new community, things began to escalate. Our family was eating Shabbos lunch at a friend’s home when suddenly, right after Kiddush, I started feeling faint and lightheaded again.
Heart pounding, I excused myself to the restroom and took some deep breaths, but nothing seemed to help. I began to panic. Was there something wrong with me? Why did this keep happening? After what seemed like an eternity, I began to feel better and returned to the meal.
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