Out of Step: Chapter 43  

So basically, I’m a failure.

I thought I had it all figured out. This whole thing that happened to me, the whole crazy year, the trials and nisyonos and feeling broken, over and over, I thought I had grown through it all.

That I would look back one day and be all like, “Mhhm, was losing my ability to dance tough? Well, sure, but I became the amazing person I am today because of it,” and everyone would be all like, “Oh, she’s sooo inspiring.”

’Kay, so add delusional to my list of faults. But still, I really thought I had changed. No, I had felt myself change. My mind was open to noticing others and their needs, it was like getting peripheral vision for the first time; suddenly I saw those around me and not just my goals ahead.

But after what Goldie told me… she’d basically said I’m a thankless spoiled brat and I brought all the bad feeling in the house onto myself.