Outlook

The approach of the Yamim Noraim is the optimal time to focus on our koach habechirah (power to exercise our free will). Most of us find it convenient — at least some of the time — to play down our range of choices. We prefer to view ourselves as passive victims of circumstances and to act as if we have been stripped of our bechirah.

One proven way to overcome that temptation is to focus on those who rejected the role of victim. Those who lost most of their families in the Holocaust including in many cases spouses and children and who did not give up on life are one such source of inspiration.

Not long ago I was in a friend’s office when I caught sight of a small newspaper clipping of Tali Hatuel and her four daughters. Hatuel eight months pregnant and her daughters were shot dead at point-blank range by Palestinian terrorists in the Gaza Strip in May 2004. I cannot begin to fathom how her husband David Hatuel maintained his sanity. He woke up that morning with a beautiful family anticipating the imminent birth of his first son — and by 1:00 p.m. all those closest to him had been wiped out.

Yet somehow he found the strength to go on even marrying again and starting a new family. At the time of the birth of his first child with his second wife he said simply that he had been confronted with only two choices: either allow his life to be destroyed or go on. He chose the latter. When we contemplate his example we should at least hesitate before pronouncing ourselves overwhelmed by whatever circumstances are dragging us down at the moment.