Outlook

What about the vision of his father Yaakov Avinu saved Yosef HaTzaddik from sinning with Potiphar’s wife? It cannot have been the recognition of the seriousness of the aveirah involved because Yosef already knew that. Rather my friend Rabbi Aharon Lopiansky explains Yosef connected to that quality of Yaakov in which he resembled his father more than any of his brothers — the middah of emes.

Emes means inter alia never attaching oneself to anything that does not belong to one. To do so is to betray one’s essence and dilute oneself. Even after he has decided to leave Lavan whom he had greatly enriched through his efforts Yaakov insists “Do not give me anything …” (Bereishis 30:31). Prior to his final parting from Lavan Yaakov describes at length how he took nothing from Lavan to which the latter could have had the slightest claim. He deducted from his wages even sheep or goats killed by wild animals for which he bore no responsibility. But the same Yaakov crossed the River Yabbok to retrieve small vessels for even those were dear to him since he had earned them through his own efforts without the slightest trace of theft.

Similarly Yosef realized that every man requires a wife to complete his essential self — “male and female He created them” (Bereishis 1:27). By definition any woman married to another could not be his completion. Thus Yosef emphasizes to Potiphar’s wife that she alone of all that belongs to Potiphar has not been entrusted to his care. Because she cannot belong to him any attachment to her can only result in the diminution of his self. And that the middah of emes he inherited from his father could not permit.

One of our educational imperatives is to develop in our children the understanding that attachment to those things that one has not earned stunts our growth and prevents us from reaching our full potential. As Chazal say “An adult who is reliant upon his father’s table is called a minor.” All forms of cheating and fraud which are unfortunately not unknown in our community derive from a failure to appreciate that partaking of what one has not earned is an act of self-destruction. Only “he who hates presents will live” (Mishlei 15:27) — i.e. will maximize his fullest potential.