How is it that some women can give and give and still feel full while others are on the verge of collapse? The answer? They aren’t ashamed to indulge in good self-care
“Whenever I hear a client going on and on about her husband complaining about what he doesn’t do for her the first question I ask is about her self-care” says Julie Lurie a relationship educator and coach based in Chicago Illinois.
“Is she getting enough sleep? Exercising? When’s the last time she treated herself to something nice? Or went out with a friend? There’s a basic formula in marriage that when our self-care goes down our tolerance for our husbands also plummets.
“So many shalom bayis issues start with lack of self-care” continues Julie who runs marriage seminars and shalom bayis vaadim as well as teaching kallos and lecturing regularly. “If we’re not taking good care of ourselves we have no fuel to put into our marriages… or anything else. I could teach my clients a hundred ways to increase shalom bayis but if they don’t have good self-care they won’t be able to implement any of them.”
For many of us self-care is a novel concept. We’re so used to putting others first — our husbands children parents the next-door neighbor who just had a baby the choleh who needs a ride to the doctor — that we rarely get around to meeting our own needs.
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