Prison Break

“This festival of Matzah, a time of freedom…” (Kiddush of Leil HaSeder)

Pesach is called a “time of freedom,” while Shabbos is called a “time of rest.” What’s the difference?

The Torah word for tranquility is menuchah. There are two levels of menuchah — a lower level of body-oriented tranquility, as well as a higher level, serenity of the soul.

To serve Hashem properly, we need a certain amount of physical calm. But Shabbos gives us the higher level of menuchah. On Shabbos, we transcend physical tranquility and focus on our soul.

But in order to reach that identification with the neshamah, we first need to free the soul. (Rav Itamar Schwartz, Bilvavi)

It was late Friday night of Shabbos Hagadol several years ago. It had been a long week of cleaning, and I was exhausted. I turned to put a salad bowl in the sink — then suddenly I couldn’t move. My back twisted into an excruciating cramp. A click, and I collapsed onto the floor in agony.

A neighbor in Hatzalah came and gave me a strong injection of pain medicine. Still, any movement was excruciating. I was helped into bed, and there I lay immobile.

Mitzrayim comes from the word meitzar — prison.

Our body and soul are in constant contradiction. Our soul is a tzelem Elokim, while our body, which was created from earth, desires materialistic things.

Before we’re born, all we seek is closeness with Hashem. But upon birth, our soul is imprisoned within its body.

Despite the pain killers my doctor prescribed, on Leil HaSeder I was still unable to do anything. My kids moved the couch next to the table and I lay on my back —not the best position to drink four cups of wine and eat matzah. Every bite was difficult. Lying below table level, my face felt like it was being coated with matzah dust, and I couldn’t even wipe it properly. I was floating in this surreal out-of-body plane of existence.

I was present at the Seder, but I wasn’t really there.  Action was going on around me, but I was forced to stay completely still. I may have been at complete rest on the couch, but I certainly wasn’t free.