Ayala Nivin is the mother of a double-digit family and she nurtures her 14 children with aplomb. But it wasn’t always like that. The paradigm shift from resentful servant to dignified queen took time thought and a whole lot of nurturing — this time of herself.
When you speak to Ayala Nivin about her family ask for her insights into raising a large happy family you hear many nuggets of wisdom. But one element threads itself throughout — royalty. “When there are tough moments ” says Ayala “I try to connect with my inner sense of malchus of royalty and that really helps. It leads me to what I feel is the second commandment of Jewish mothers: Remember you are a queen.”
Remember you are a queen? The idea entices like jewelry in a showcase. I want that I think with a pang. I’d love to feel like a queen.
But mothering children with their strident demands and ever-evolving needs clashes with glass slippers and tiara. As a mother of two I wonder about this mother of 14. How is Ayala a queen?
I find out soon enough on a sultry afternoon in her house in Ashdod. As I clutch my purse and knock on the apartment door I imagine a ruckus on the other side and promise myself to remain inconspicuous. With 14 children five under the age of five and a set of three-year-old twins thrown in the house must look … well lived in I assume. Eleven of those 14 are boys and I can just imagine socks strewn around the kitchen floor and a frazzled mother picking up after them.
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