Elul is a time for introspection, self-examination, and renewed commitments. A new approach, Min¬¬dful Self-Compassion, can bring you closer to your goals with no condemnation required,
GETTING UNSTUCK “Self-compassion isn’t about being self-indulgent” explains Dr. Kristin Neff a psychology professor at the University of Texas. “It helps you be motivated and take responsibility. People who are more self-compassionate are more likely to apologize and take personal responsibility. When it’s safe to make a mistake you are okay saying ‘I’m sorry’ because you’re not stuck in the belief that you’re a horrible person.” (Photos: Shutterstock)
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t’s only 7:55 in the morning and you’ve already dealt with a toddler tantrum refereed a sibling squabble and scrambled to get your husband out the door with lunch in tow. On your right a child is lamenting her missing shoes. On your left your toddler is dumping his sticky oatmeal on the floor.
Then your teenage daughter steps into the kitchen. She’s holding a crumpled shirt in her hand (oops you forgot to do that load of laundry last night). You endure five minutes of escalating drama (“How can I go to school with a dirty shirt? I told you two days ago that I needed it!”) before you lose it. In an ongoing harangue you berate her for being spoiled chutzpahdig and ungrateful. You do everything the parenting books tell you not to do.
Later after carpool drop-off when the house is finally empty your inner critic begins her assault: What kind of mother are you? How could you say that?! The whole morning episode runs on repeat in your brain — your screaming and name-calling plus your daughter’s reaction a shocked pained silence.
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