Shelter in Place

“And afterward, his brother came out, and his hand was holding the heel of Eisav, and He [Hashem] called him Yaakov….” (Bereishis 25:26)

WEoften misunderstand our confrontations with the yetzer hara. We assume that “real tzaddikim” are free from these challenges, so if we’re facing such a yetzer hara, we must be on a very low level. Yet these thoughts are mistaken (Rav Elimelech Biderman, Torah Wellsprings).

I make a lot of brachos every day: shehakol, borei nefashos, asher yatzer…. Yet they somehow all end up as the brachah of Tefillas Haderech. As soon as I start the words, I find myself zooming off. There are so many urgent things to take care of… places to go… people to see….

For years I’ve tried a myriad of ideas, kabbalos, tricks, and incentives to get myself to stay in one place and concentrate. But my feet have a mind of their own and simply refuse to obey.

It’s been frustrating and, yeah, demoralizing to realize that I have no control over myself for even 20 seconds.

I want to stand still and have kavanah! Why, oh why, can’t I pull this off? (Maybe Hashem wants me to understand my boys who can’t stand still for a second either?)