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ITwas Rosh Chodesh Elul, and I stood under the wide blue sky with the ancient stones of the Kosel cool beneath my palms despite the heat of the day. My daughters were on either side of me, and even from here, I knew my boys were running circles around my husband on the other side of the mechitzah.

It was just hours before the school year would start, and we took this trip to imbue the new year with holiness and start our 40 days of teshuvah with meaningful conversation with Hashem.

And really, I tried. I reached deep into my soul and tried to ask Him for what I really need: acceptance. Clarity. Menuchah for my ravaged body and exhausted mind.

Instead, I found myself standing physically in today while my whole heart was located an entire year back. Back to a time when I felt at peace with where I was in life, blissfully clueless to what was coming.