Shut Down

How many people are you not speaking to?

Do you sometimes get so angry disappointed or hurt that you react by completely shutting down? Do you withdraw from the person who caused you such pain? Do you ever stop talking to them for days months or years?

Many of us handle emotional pain by retreating into ourselves. Feeling trapped unheard uncared for and/or abused we see no other way of handling the situation. It doesn’t seem possible that the person who hurt us so badly will be open to an honest exchange of feelings a healing dialogue of some kind. We no longer trust her and so we don’t see any point in exposing ourselves further. Instead of trying to talk things through we flee for safety.

While others might judge us we know that we are saving our lives. Indeed there are situations that call for such drastic measures. There are some people — narcissists and psychopaths of varying degrees — who simply cannot be communicated with. There is truly no point in trying to work things out with members of this disturbed population for they lack the ability to empathize. They are so psychologically disturbed that instead of taking our words to heart they will use them against us in the most vile manner. Instead of trying to understand and cooperate they only seek conflict and revenge. Their goal is to take care of themselves at all costs and they care nothing about crushing those in their path. These are people who we must flee from in order to protect ourselves; we have no other choice.