Some simchahs are a mixture of overwhelming joy and excruciating pain. Four pairs of women share their stories of simchahs that blended elation and anguish.
My Sari Elchanan’s mother said to me “We need you to be a happy bubby at the upsheren and im yirtzeh Hashem you’ll yet come to cut Elchanan’s hair. Please Mommy allow yourself to be happy.” And Dassy Yossi’s mother said to me “I spoke to Sari. It’s okay. There’s room for the pain and there’s room for the happiness. Our hearts are big enough”
T
Orah’s Story:
My older sister Yael got married three years before me. But she was still davening for children when shortly after my wedding I found out I was expecting.
I tried to hide myself as much as possible during the pregnancy so as not to hurt my sister. For months I didn’t get together with Yael — even though we’d had such a close relationship just a short while before. I simply wasn’t able to look her in the face.
My parents also had difficulty being happy with our good news. My mother would say to me all the time “Daven for Yael that she should also be zocheh.” I’d feel my heart tighten as if I was guilty of snatching the birthright from my older sister; as if her pain would increase because of me. Every time I spoke to my mother on the phone instead of asking how I was we both remained silent as we thought about Yael’s great pain.
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