That’s the Ticket

What? Change my name? But you do what you have to do for the good of your country. Besides, after my initial shock, I was ashamed. I mean, it really is a small price to pay for the honor, not to mention the world historic challenge, placed before me.

By the time you read this, I don’t know if the news will be out. But whether it is or not, you all know it’s coming. The search is on — well, it was on, before they called me — for a replacement for President Joe Biden on the Democratic ticket for the 2024 election. All that stuff you read about Kamala Harris is a feint.

Before I get into the details of the incredible phone call, inviting — actually, demanding — that I run, I must say, we all need to honor Joe Biden for his uncountable contributions, humbly promoted and blatantly humble. It’s really sad that Mr. Biden has to step down. As Mitch McConnell said upon his own retirement from the leadership of the Republican Party, “Father Time remains undefeated.”

Speaking of McConnell, bipartisanship is one of the things that’s going to take me to victory in November.