“You are dee best Jewvish family vee have here!” pronounces Pravahandra Ravichandricharn, RN. I can’t believe it. We are a clan of frustrated doctors, professional worriers, medical name-droppers, late-comers, hypochondriacs, and not a few know-it-alls. And I am no exception.
THINGS I’D LOVE TO TELL SOME NURSES IF ONLY I HAD THE COURAGE
1) My father’s name is Mr. Censor. It’s not Bernard; it’s certainly not Bernie and it most assuredly is not honey sweetheart or dear. He’s got a good 40 to 60 years on you and a lot of wisdom and life experience (and millions of mitzvos and maasim tovim). So please call him Mr. Censor. Thank you.
2) I know you work hard. I know you need a break from time to time from your grinding twelve-hour shift. Go right ahead and chat while writing notes about your patients. But if I come running out into the hall flushed and shaking calling “Estrella! Taqueenia! Victoria Mary!” in my most obsequious tone of screech it means something is wrong and I need your help. I do not enjoy disturbing you. I know that you are busy. But please if my loved one is gasping or struggling or if I fear that a rather important tube is blocked up come quickly.
3) Knowledge is power. Or at least it makes us relatives feel a little less powerless. When you the nurse give us The Clueless information about the patient’s condition the latest test results or news of any medication change we are so grateful. I can’t tell you how grateful. But maybe a box of Zeishe’s vanilla rugelach will help explain it.
4) I know that you the capable nursing staff have passed many really tough tests during your years of schooling ending with the infamous N-CLEX exam. But I propose that a new type of test be administered: a hearing test.
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