Whether we marry at 20 or at 40 we dream about the deep satisfying connection we’ll have with our spouse. We will feel loved and taken care of. Together we will be more than the sum of the parts and as a stalwart team we’ll conquer life’s challenges. We won’t feel lonely anymore and the security of knowing that our spouse “has our back” will give us the confidence to achieve that which we couldn’t do alone.
If you find your spirits sagging as you read this description in the knowledge that your marriage is nothing like this don’t feel too bad. This idyllic description describes only some marriages some of the time after many years of hard work.
Why do our dreams not coincide with reality? We yearn for a deep meaningful connection. Why does it elude us?
A Relationship of Menuchah
What we are yearning for is called in our Sages’ terminology “menuchah.” This can be defined as a feeling of inner peace and comfort when things are in their place and connected to their source. We read in Megillas Rus “And you will find comfort [menuchah] each woman in her husband’s home.” Naomi blessed her daughters-in-law that they marry again and find the satisfying relationship a woman can have in marriage where she has her place and that place feels like a connection to her essence.
Create a free account to keep reading.
