PERSPECTIVES → GUESTLINES Issue 979 · September 20, 2023

The True Goal of Mesirus Nefesh   

Put differently, true mesirus nefesh is not self-reduction; it is self-expansion, an opportunity to push oneself beyond the limits one assumes for oneself.

The True Goal of Mesirus Nefesh   

 

IS self-sacrifice a virtue?

Our instinctive answer to that question is, “But of course. It must be!” When we consider our overwhelming duties — the lion’s share of our time, money, and emotion that we pour into our Torah-driven lives and into building our faithful families — we are left with the question: What could the motivation be other than self-sacrifice?

Isn’t “mesirus nefesh” the defining character of Yiddishkeit? Isn’t this all the more so in the hubbub of our supercharged, hyper-stimulated life in the 21st century?

Think about your life. After a full work day, you come home to clamoring children, a spouse who deserves your attention, multiple car pools yet to drive, davening and learning you need to squeeze in, and a deep-seated wish to just spend a few moments relating to your family. Every day you hope it will miraculously be different — but when it isn’t, you console yourself with the thought that, after all, this is the mesirus nefesh that a life dedicated to Torah asks of you. And somehow, that makes it bearable.

What’s wrong with this picture? Is this an attractive life that is fulfilling for me and that will inspire my children to lead their own proud lives of dedication to Torah? How long can we drive ourselves this way before we run out of fuel?

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