Time to Listen

“I

 don’t really know why I’m here, to tell you the truth,” he said.

Harvey Blasberg, the buoyant, smiling man sitting before me, didn’t initially look like a fellow with serious psychological issues — but one could never be too sure. Still, introducing himself as “The Professor” was a red flag, especially after the e-mail I’d received earlier from The Professor’s wife. I generally don’t take a spouse’s one-sided appraisal at face value, but it was soon clear that this woman was pretty much on track regarding her husband.

His wife’s e-mail described a brilliant man whose life was filled with academic achievements and chesed activities as well. But it was clear that she’d had enough. “The man never lets you get a word in between his silly jokes and all the stories about famous people he’s met. Everyone, including me, is just a vehicle for his humongous ego. And while he deserves a pat on the back for being a brilliant economist and a baal tzedakah, my husband doesn’t have a real friend in the world and certainly doesn’t have a marriage….”

Harvey, for his part, continued his introduction. “I mean, my wife sent me here. She says you’re the best, but you know, she doesn’t have the greatest track record for picking winners… after all, she ended up married to me!” He chuckled, and then looked down and lowered his booming voice: “Ha, ha, my wife probably tried to convince you that I’m a narcissistic piece of garbage. That’s what she tells everyone.”