O ur nature is to see ourselves filling up the entire space in the universe but when we recognize that we’re just a tiny part of a whole and not the star soloist when we contemplate how every person is part of the puzzle and not just another creature on the cosmic assembly line our attitude toward our fellows will do an about-face
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“Ben Azzai says ‘Do not be scornful toward any man and do not be disdainful of anything for there is no man who doesn’t have his hour and no thing that doesn’t have its place’ ” (Pirkei Avos 4:3).
We human beings use people as if they were objects. Philosophers have said that “the other ” by his mere presence is an obstacle to the full unrestrained expression of the ego. He gets in my way intrudes on my space. His wishes block the path I’ve laid out for myself and his goals may not be compatible with mine. This is the basic conflict of interests that underlies every battle in the world. It is the source of all interpersonal struggles wars and competition that have formed most of human history on this planet. At every level from international relations to family dynamics and every social level in between a person learns at a very early age that in order to survive… he must use people. In one way or another he must exploit them for his own needs.
In a totalitarian social model (and this paradigm also includes that little dictator the violent husband who tyrannizes his family) others are exploited through the crack of the whip in one form or another. In an open democratic society other means of exploitation are used: the fake smile double-talk and flattery psychological tactics all spiced with empty expressions of appreciation which for some reason the victim takes as compliments hungry as he is for some crumb of recognition as a person and not just as a functionary to help his operators achieve their goals.
