Is there a specifically Jewish approach to parenting? How can we establish what’s true to our mesorah, and when, if ever, can we borrow from secular wisdom?
Y ears ago “parent” denoted something you were not something you did. You became a parent with the birth of your first child and then stayed one forever but parenting wasn’t something you actively practiced. Whether in Galicia or Marrakesh our grandparents didn’t spend much time thinking about unconditional positive regard or empathic limits and probably never heard of the 80-20 rule.
Today parenting is a booming industry with a constantly growing plethora of books lectures and experts all purporting to teach us the right way to raise our children. Within our community as well many people and publications lay claim to being purveyors of authentic Torah-based parenting advice. While many of these educational resources do contain much Torah wisdom they also — with varying degrees of apologetics — adopt buzzwords techniques and even entire premises from current psychological research.
Have we merely jumped on the secular parenting bandwagon or is there a uniquely Jewish way to parent?
What changed?
Both philosophically and practically the world we live in is very different from our parents’ and grandparents’ world. Dr. David Lieberman renowned psychologist and bestselling author explains that we all — Jew and non-Jew — spend less time churning butter chopping wood and escaping from bloodthirsty barbarians than our ancestors did. This has afforded us more leisure time to ruminate on our emotions and relationships and allowed for an increased awareness of the importance of parenting.
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