Few realities are more daunting than parents’ inability to care for themselves. Devoted children want to offer the best possible arrangement —but often don’t know what would be ideal. Here, a candid look at the pros and cons of the three most common eldercare set-ups
Gitta Neufeld was concerned. On Seder night when the grandchildren announced “Time for karpas!” Gitta’s father just held the vegetable looking at it with confusion in his eyes.
That was in 1997. Unfortunately Gitta’s father’s behavior became increasingly forgetful and erratic since then. Eventually he was diagnosed with Pick’s Disease a neurological illness characterized by dementia poor social judgment and loss of language. As time went on Gitta’s mother who is in good health needed help managing both the household and the care of her ailing husband.
Gitta’s father is one of many elderly people who can no longer live unaided. Once these seniors lose their independence the question that plagues their spouses and children – and sometimes the seniors themselves – is what type of living environment will meet their needs? Should they stay at home and hire assistance move into a child’s house or relocate to an eldercare facility?
Home Sweet Home
The Neufelds could have welcomed Gitta’s parents into their Far Rockaway New York home. Gitta’s mother-in-law had lived with them for a year before she died so they were set up for it but they opted to keep her father at his home; Gitta’s mother wanted to stay in Brooklyn and they assumed her father would fare better in a familiar environment.
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