We say that we have sinned before You. When we know and feel that we’re before Hashem then we recognize our sins. But if we don’t know and feel that we’re before Him then only one sin exists: that we’ve fled from the Holy One blessed is He. Like a soldier in uniform who’s missing a button has dusty shoes etc. — he’s punished for each infraction. But if he … flees from the army no infractions are found for him but rather the great crime of … shrugging off the yoke of his sovereign.
So it is with the person before the King of kings. If he … feels that he’s standing before Him and accepts the yoke of the Sovereignty of Heaven then there’s room to enumerate transgressions. But if he shrugs off that yoke and flees … transgressions aren’t enumerated. Then he has the sin of shrugging off the yoke of his King. (Darchei Mussar — Rav Yaakov Neiman)
The soldier is reproved for his dusty shoes missing button talking too much. Eyes downcast he accepts his punishment and promises to improve.
But his fellow soldier is never reprimanded not for a stain on his uniform nor for disobeying orders. Because he leaped over the fence and disappeared. A deserter traitor who rebelled against the king. The day will come when he will be brought to justice for the worst crime of all — desertion.
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