Here are some tips on how a frum woman can maintain a professional presence in the workplace
When we were in seminary, our teachers introduced us to Rabbi Aaron Lopiansky’s Ben Torah for Life, which we used as a springboard for discussion of issues that might come up in the workforce, and necessary boundaries. We discussed not looking over the same computer screen as a male coworker, taking the stairs if possible to avoid being alone in an elevator with a man, and introducing ourselves with our English names or as Miss So-and-so. But there were some unspoken office culture norms that we never discussed while still on seminary’s safe shores.
Be ready to avoid handshaking. It’s a good idea to come to an initial interview with a purse in one hand and a hefty folder in the other. Should the interviewer be male, you can do a demure different hand shuffle. Brownie points if your hands are unavailable because you’ve brought a tray of iced lattes to the office.
Always assume married until proven otherwise. I don’t care how cute the office yenta thinks you and the only male Jewish coworker are (even though your only interaction with him was his passing you the milk in the communal coffee space). Until it’s explicitly, verbally iterated that he isn’t married, always assume that he is.
While post-work mingling may lead to team building and greater camaraderie, they generally lead to interactions you want to avoid. Let your coworkers think you are a boring party pooper. You don’t do rooftop bars or drink, and you go to sleep early so you can be on time come morn. Do they think you’re a miss goody two shoes? So be it.
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