Our shidduch stats generated a great deal of discussion. Savvy singles and seasoned shadchanim offer their insights into the process
Not push someone to say why a specific girl/boy is not for them. If they don’t want to say, I want to respect their boundary, especially because their reason can be personal, reflect the other party in a negative light (making it lashon hara that isn’t always l’toeles), or uncomfortable to say.
Give more feedback after dates. Not just, “He said yes” or, “He said no.” I’d give details and call the single to hear what she has to say.
NOT look at my phone while a girl in front of me expresses herself. I will give her the courtesy of properly listening and find a way to take notes afterward, or say, “Hold on, I’m just writing this down so I can remember it,” and pause the conversation to write it down.
Tell the boy/girl to sleep on it. I wouldn’t ask them to call me right away after the date, because after three hours of small talk and smiling and looking perfect, you’re emotionally and physically drained and probably not thinking logically. (Most of the shadchanim I’ve been involved with are perfectly fine with not hearing from me until the next morning, and I would want to work that way, too.)
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