It is not a long journey, she repeats to herself, a mantra. But it is a journey that means stepping into the unknown
TO stay or to go? Just when Bilhah thinks she has decided, something — a stray comment, a thought, a shiver of fear — comes along, and her decision evaporates. During the early morning leisure hours in the gardens, she shuns the company of both Katerina and Aisha, although she feels them watching her. She goes for long walks alone.
How long does she have before Hurrem Sultan pushes her? How long before another emissary leaves to Jerusalem? For this must be her destination, she is fed up of being chased from country to country, she needs to find a place to stay, to rest.
Jerusalem. She searches her mind for things she has heard about it. Stories, comments, snippets of description. There is little in the way of details: what the people there eat, how they dress, how they support themselves. Instead, she closes her eyes and sees a shining, glowing vision of gold and purple and aquamarine. But when she tries to look closer, everything blurs and fades.
To travel, you need to have faith — either in the world or in yourself. It is too dangerous, too frightening, to go out in the world without being able to trust. Anyone might be readying themselves to attack you. Anything might destroy you.
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