“Is This Why We’re Supporting Our Young Couple?”

Question

Our daughter recently got married to a wonderful young man and has since moved to Eretz Yisrael. We committed to offering full support for five years, which isn’t easy for us at all. While my husband runs a successful business, after paying the bills and sending our daughter the monthly check, there is little left for us to put away.

My daughter sounds extremely happy, as does my son-in-law.

They’re constantly talking about their most recent trip to Netanya, at which restaurant they ate out, or which mall they visited on Motzaei Shabbos. While we’re thrilled that their life is running smoothly, these conversations always leave us feeling deeply disturbed — is this where all our hard-earned money is going? Why aren’t we hearing from our son-in-law about his latest siyum, or most recent chaburah? We have no problem with our children enjoying life, but their living in Eretz Yisrael is for a purpose — as is our sacrifice to support them. Is there any way we can communicate this to them without hurting their feelings?

Answer

You are raising a sensitive and important question. Let’s begin by addressing the general phenomenon of young people coming to learn Torah in Eretz Yisrael, and only afterwards will we focus on your specific question.