“A woman isn’t someone who is married; womanhood has nothing to do with marital status”
Thank you, Chaya Gitson, for being our voice and expressing the reality of those of us who weren’t supported in kollel. My circumstances don’t entirely match Chaya’s, but I also had parents who couldn’t afford to support their married children, and they were very honest with me about it before I got married. And I also wanted to build a home of Torah, so I went into this with open eyes.
But as Chaya wrote, people just assume that everyone in kollel is supported by their parents, and they comment on it. I suddenly feel fortunate that no one said to me what they said to her, but for me, every time someone made an assumption like that, a niggling little feeling of resentment wormed its way in. Everyone else is supporting their kids; somehow they find the money to make their children’s lives easier.
Baruch Hashem, I was able to catch this voice and work through it, so my wonderful relationship with my parents wasn’t tainted. But it’s something I wish people were a little more aware of and sensitive toward.
Anonymous
In her recent Matchquest column, Mrs. Sara Eisenmann addressed the main issue of the letter writer’s concern — how to deal with her anxiety over possible “red flags” when dating.
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