The Truth about Marriage

Marriage is a journey of growth. People usually marry when they’ve just emerged from childhood. Until then, their parents directed their activities, paid their way, met all their needs, and taught them right from wrong. Now, they leave home with the responsibility to take care of themselves and another person. With minimal or no experience, they’re expected to manage their time, money, space, emotions, attention, and stress levels, as well as to understand and appropriately respond to the needs of another emerging adult.

In many cases, they will be called upon almost immediately to consider the needs brought on by pregnancy, birth, and child-rearing. It is not surprising that many people struggle in their early years of marriage. There’s so much to learn, so much to do, so little time, and so much confusion and pain.

Says one newly married woman, “We fight a lot. I wasn’t prepared for that. I thought that by marrying ‘a good boy,’ I’d simply walk into a good life and that would be that.”

Many people think they’re marrying an adult, someone who will function as well as their parents do. What a surprise to find that one’s spouse is more like one’s closest-in-age siblings — fun-loving perhaps, but maybe also messy, forgetful, irresponsible, bossy, self-centered, overly emotional, or otherwise ordinary and flawed. A child in a taller body.