The real shidduch crisis happens when we push people into marriage
Many organizations have opened to help singles get married; different initiatives have been tried, including ones to encourage boys to start dating at a younger age; and shadchanim are offered monetary compensation to get girls dates. This is all beautiful and important work, but what is the real cost of all this?
Do we really want to simply cross names off our list of singles who need shidduchim, only to hear two months or six months after they got married that they’re back home with their parents? How often do we hear of yet another young couple getting divorced? Are we just replacing one crisis with another?
As a dating and relationship coach, I’ve met with too many singles who tell me they’re being pushed to date when they don’t feel ready, or they are dating someone they have issues with, yet are being strongly encouraged to continue regardless of their unease. I met with a young woman who shared with me how firmly she was pressured to continue dating and then get engaged, even when it didn’t feel right to her. It is hard to see them in pain.
It’s very easy to persuade people to get married. Knowing when to back off is so much more important.
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