Heni and Raizy

Heni’s Take

HI, my name is Heni. I’m 17 years old and going into 12th grade. I had a great summer, baruch Hashem, and I’m looking forward to school starting soon. I can’t believe I’m going to be a senior!

I have another eight days until school starts, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with friends and family. I have one friend, Raizy, who keeps texting me that she wants to hang out but I’m honestly not in the mood to be with her. I keep trying to push her off, but she keeps asking me. I’m not sure what to do. I think I need to give you a little bit of background so that you can understand why I’m feeling this way.

I’m sorry to speak like this about her, but Raizy is not popular, at all. When I first started hanging out with her, it was because I felt really sorry for her. I can tolerate her awkwardness much better than other girls, so most of the time, we get along fine. I’ve come to a point where I actually like her for who she is and consider her a real friend. But sometimes she’s a bit too clingy and it gets uncomfortable and very annoying. She asks me over and over again if I want to do certain things that she knows I don’t want to do, and puts me in the uncomfortable position of having to say no or give in.

She enjoys doing things that are a little uncommon, like hiking and stargazing. These are not things I’m interested in doing and I’ve been very open about that. I gave in a bunch of times when she kept asking me because I felt really mean to keep saying no. I thought she’d be satisfied and that would make her stop asking so often. But it didn’t work. If anything, it’s even more frequent. I’ve gotten about eight texts asking me if I want to go hiking anytime soon. Sometimes I give an excuse, sometimes I try to make a joke about it, and sometimes I’m downright honest and say I don’t want to go! But she keeps asking! She’s really sensitive and I know if I keep saying no, she’s going to get hurt and insulted and pick a fight with me, like she’s done in the past. But I really don’t like hiking! I get sweaty and I hate bugs and there’s no bathroom and my sneakers get all muddy. I don’t like eating on a dirty rock and washing out of a water bottle. She likes this type of adventurous stuff but I find it uncomfortable and unenjoyable. In other words, HELP! If I’m honest with her, she’ll get mad, and if I give in, I’ll be mad! I’m also scared she’ll think this is something I like to do and then ask me every week if I want to go! How can I get out of this? And how do I put a stop to her asking me without hurting her feelings?