W e’re currently looking into a boy who on paper sounds like exactly what my daughter wants. He’s a solid learner and a huge masmid. Everyone talks about the endless hours he spends in the beis medrash and how davuk he is to Torah. My daughter is thrilled with this information.
But I’m a bit nervous. It’s great that this boy treats his Gemara well but how will he treat his wife? No one said anything bad about his middos but since he’s in the beis medrash such long hours his roommates barely know him. The friends whose numbers we got are all chavrusas he connects with through learning.
How can I find out if this boy is a mensch who will know when to close his Gemara for his family’s sake?
– Wants a Masmid and a Mensch
Dear Wants a Mensch
First I’d like to commend you on the question. It’s easy to get swept away with “information” and forget that we’re looking at a person and a potential relationship. It’s great when things look good on paper but when looking for our child’s spouse we need a 3-D view.
