Why was I always wary when the women at my table started to play the inevitable game of Jewish Geography?
I ’m innocently dissecting my salmon at the wedding of my first cousin twice removed gloomily mulling over its sorry fate when Jewish Wheel of Relations inevitably begins. I’m never able to avoid it. It’s honestly record breaking: This time it took a total of 123.7 seconds for the wheel to start spinning.
“Wait so are you related to the Schorrs from Lakewood?” a woman in an auburn sheitel says with a beaming smile. “ ’Cuz her sister’s mother-in-law is my aunt’s first cousin. So that would make us like practically mechutanim!”
“Greenfeld? Wait like the billionaire Greenfelds?! Oh gosh. Would you mind autographing my napkin?”
“I can’t believe it I know your family! Our grandmothers actually peeled potatoes together on the ship to America!”
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