Living “b’kivun el atzmo” ensures that the things I overhear and oversee become opportunities for growth
According to the Baal Shem Tov, the encounters we unwittingly observe are Heavenly ordained. Hashem deposits us in the precise time and place to observe these incidents.
If I see a passenger lose it when the driver skips his stop, rage against the driver, the bus company, and the public transportation industry, what’s my reaction? “He really needs to practice anger management! I wonder if he’s like this at home with his wife and kids?”
I may be justified in responding this way, but if I’m living what Rav Shlomo Wolbe calls “focused inward — b’kivun el atzmo” and see encounters like these as mirrors Hashem holds up for my own spiritual evaluation, my response will be different.
Rav Wolbe advises that instead of projecting judgment outward, we focus inward and ask, “Where do I see a whisper of this reaction in myself?” Instead of instinctively condemning the perpetrator, search for the places where your reactions are inappropriately outsized, where you react with rancor instead of acceptance.
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