Last Prayer for My Son 

When the news broke that a soldier named Yaakov Hillel had died in Lebanon over Succos, his illustrious name became the focus of the tragedy. But as his father Rabbi Chaim Hillel makes clear, Yaakov’s story was a universal one — of educational challenges overcome and of the power of parents to help their children find their own path in life

It’s morning on the first day of Succos.

The shul is packed, the bimah surrounded by mispallelim holding lulavim. Rabbi Chaim Hillel — a son of Rav Yaakov Hillel, the great mekubal and rosh yeshivah of Jerusalem’s Yeshivat Ahavat Shalom — feels his body trembling, his heart ready to burst, but no one notices. His neighbors and friends are all looking intently in their machzorim, crying out, “Hosha na, l’maancha Elokeinu, hosha na.”

He joins in, closing his eyes, tightening his grip on his arba minim, trying to shut out any other thoughts and shouting with all his might, “Hosha na, l’maancha Boreinu, hosha na.”

But his heart refuses to cooperate, drawing him back again and again to the devastating news he’d heard just the previous night. He’d finished the seudah, surrounded by his children and multiple guests, and had risen from the table to get a few hours’ rest.