Chesed Starts at Home 

Perhaps we can add one more dimension of chesed at home that can serve as a powerful incentive to focus on it more: It’s the only chesed that guarantees your happiness. If you invest in your spouse, your children, and your siblings, your home will inevitably reciprocate and repay that chesed over time. Your family members will live up to your aspirations for what they should ultimately become, and how they should ultimately act.

It might take some time. But every chesed comes back full circle at some point. As the famous Baal HaTurim teaches us, the Hebrew word “v’nasnu,” to give to others, is a unique word — a palindrome — that can be read exactly the same way forward and backward. This alludes to the fact that chesed has a boomerang effect, coming back at some point to the person who gave it. It’s the long game that you are playing, and this is certainly the winning strategy.

A descendant of the Chofetz Chaim once came late to Shacharis, and someone asked him why. He replied, “I planned on coming on time, but I encountered an overworked and overwhelmed young mother. Her three children had to be fed, the baby needed his diaper changed, and someone needed to grab the garbage and take it outside. So I stopped to help her.”

The person was thoroughly impressed, he said, “Who is this woman? We should all go and help her.”