From Fearful to Empowered    

ineteen years ago, I was living in Eretz Yisrael when I learned I would be having my first child. Children, that is — I was expecting twins. I’d done a childbirth course and was absolutely raring to go and have a natural birth.

But a more complicated reality intervened. I ended up having a C-section, and baruch Hashem, two healthy but tiny sons.

Two days after that shock, I was discharged from the hospital, but my babies had to stay in the Special Care Unit for four weeks. It was intense. The hospital gave me a small room so I could be near the babies in order to nurse them, which was where I recovered from my C-section, feeling so alone. I remember being in excruciating pain one night, unable to get out of bed, but as I wasn’t officially a patient, I couldn’t call a nurse. Although my husband and family came to visit, I still felt isolated, and very vulnerable.

Two years later, I gave birth again. I was given an epidural and had an okay birth, but I wasn’t satisfied. I felt that with better preparation and education, I could’ve known my rights versus hospital policies, and understood how to safely manage a VBAC.