Do You Have a Rav? 

But I also had several other encounters that I found inspiring and encouraging: A couple came to me with their teenage daughter to discuss a critical decision they were facing as the new school year approached. An individual going out of town for business was worried about a potential spiritual descent on his trip and called me to discuss the matter. Another person who rarely asks me sh’eilos called to discuss a serious issue that would have caused undue hardship and stress had he not raised it.

If you haven’t figured out yet where I’m going with this, I would like to talk about the importance of having a rav — something that too many people today sorely lack in their lives. If you think I’m making a self-serving endorsement for the rabbinate in the age of AI Rabbi, Rabbi Google, and Ask-the-Rabbi.com, then you may want to turn the page. However, if you are among the multitudes who want to have a rav, then this article is for you.

First, let us turn to Pirkei Avos to help us understand the importance of having a rav. The first chapter of Avos instructs us, not once, but twice, “Aseh lecha rav — acquire for yourself a rav” (1:6, 1:16). Why would this need to be repeated?

The repetition teaches us that there are two reasons that one must establish a rav for oneself. One, a rav serves as a halachic authority; as the Mishnah states explicitly, “Aseh lecha rav v’histalek min hasafek” — establish a rav for yourself so that you remove yourself from making halachic errors. Two, a rav serves as a teacher, guide, mentor, and life inspiration, as the Mishnah states, “aseh lecha rav u’kneh lecha chaver.” One needs to acquire a friend who is a peer, to discuss and debate important and serious matters, but one also needs a rav as a guide and mentor, to lead from a place of experienced Torah knowledge and understanding.