“With all the talk these days about mental health, this is one piece I don’t hear people say out loud very often”
I teared up reading Ashira Becker’s essay about wanting to be invited and included, even though she sometimes chickens out at the last minute because she’s scared she’ll say the wrong thing or do something awkward. I felt so seen in that line. That’s me, too. I’ve always wondered if what I have is social anxiety, and reading her words made me feel like someone finally put a name to it.
With all the talk these days about mental health, this is one piece I don’t hear people say out loud very often. Hearing her say it was a huge relief. I want the same things she describes — to sit at an event and just know what to say, when to laugh, how to slide into a conversation without later replaying every moment in my head on the drive home. This was hard when I was a teenager, it was brutal when I was dating (though baruch Hashem, I still found my bashert), and now, as a wife and mother, I can sometimes hide behind being “busy.” But the truth is, it still stings.
What really gets me is seeing bits of this in my kids. It breaks my heart to watch them hesitate about school events, shy away from playdates, or avoid inviting friends over.
Ashira, reading your piece made me feel like we’re in this together. Maybe it’s time we actually do something about it — for ourselves and for our kids. I’m in. Let’s go!
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