Plane Talk

Coordinated by Rochel Samet

THE TOPIC

Plane Talk

Starting married life in Eretz Yisrael.

For some, it’s a dream.

For others, it’s a no-brainer.

While there are differing opinions as to whether there is an obligation to live in Eretz Yisrael today, according to all opinions, chibas Ha’Aretz — loving the Land — certainly applies. But is “starting out in Israel” for everyone? How do you factor in parnassah, chinuch, and the actual best place for learning?

THE QUESTION

Is it healthy for young couples to start their marriage in Eretz Yisrael?

Newlywed couples starting out in Israel is…

…a tremendous, unnecessary pressure on parents.

Moving to Israel as a young couple is a beautiful thing. That said, my biggest concern is the financial aspect. What is this couple going to live on? Can the wife find a job — or a job that pays more than the bare minimum?

Fully supporting married children in Israel is something that the wealthy might be able to afford, but for the rest of society, too much pressure falls on parents. It becomes just another aspect of a culture in which “this is what we do” ( year of seminary in Israel, unaffordable wedding standards) because we want our children to feel that we can give them what they need, and that these opportunities are open for them.

People are killing themselves to give their kids something that isn’t necessary. There are wonderful kollelim in America. You don’t have to start out in Israel. You certainly don’t have to start in Israel while also being flown back every Yom Tov and getting yearly visits from family.