When things don’t go our way we love to complain. “Why isn’t there ever any milk in the fridge?” “It really bothers me when you leave your clothes on the floor!” “Nobody helps out around here!”
It’s amazing that we keep doing this when our complaints are so inefficient. Our enthusiasm for this mode of communication makes no sense in the light of its absolute ineffectiveness. Indeed our complaints are far more likely to elicit excuses and defensive rebuttals than actual reform. This being the case why do we continue complaining?
Why Complain?
One reason we complain is becuase it feels good. Whether it yields positive results or not it’s a relief to be able to put our displeasure into words. “Whew! I’m glad I got that off my chest! Now he knows exactly how I feel!” So true.
But so what? Now he likes you a little bit less for your efforts. After all much as we might enjoy offering our complaints no one seems to enjoy receiving them! Far from endearing ourselves to the “complainee” we are more likely to alienate him or her.
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