Planning a chasunah should be done with a sense of gratitude, not a sense of entitlement.
There are two schools of thought when it comes to weddings. Some people think, It’s just once in a lifetime; splash out as much as you can, while others think, It’s just one night; what for?
I’m of the second school.
I know that children are different these days, and I’m not sure I could pull it off again. But if I had more weddings to make, I’d like to make them exactly as I did in the past. I wouldn’t cut down on anything — because the only way I could cut down further would be to make the wedding on a Friday and serve the Friday night seudah as the wedding meal, as they did in the olden days. (I would love it if that came back in style….)
We’re not a family who borrows. I’d rather serve canned tuna on Shabbos than borrow money to buy fish, and that was what I did when I was younger. My husband is a respected kollel yungerman, while I worked as a teacher for many years. Baruch Hashem, we made ends meet and we made ten beautiful chasunahs in a happy, upbeat fashion, and we never went into debt.
When my eldest daughter got engaged around 25 years ago, my plan was to cook the entire wedding myself. The local kashrus authority asked us not to do this, because they were worried about what would happen to kashrus standards if others would follow our lead. Instead, we hired a cook whom they certified, bought the food, and served it ourselves.
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