Finding the Joy in Purim

Many years ago before I grew too old for costumes and candies Purim was a deliriously happy day.

But one day I suddenly found myself all grown-up. The excited little girl in her kallah gown became a mature newlywed skillfully constructing mishloach manos setting a beautiful table for the seudah keeping the house presentable for the devoted visiting students … and in rare moments of silence I would ask myself: Where is the simchah in all of this?

The passing years brought small children and adorable costumes into my home. I wake up early on Purim morning long before the queen the clown the candy man and the Hatzolah medic to cram in an early morning Shacharis. But my heart is still searching for simchah. The question resonates deep within me: Why is this day different from all the other holidays Hashem gave us? And how do I truly rejoice?

“Purim gives us a taste of the World to Come and techiyas hameisim. The purpose of the day is to enjoy everything we have accomplished. Throughout the year an oved Hashem urges himself to work on his many shortcomings and achieves simchah by overcoming his material desires. This is the ‘Yom Kippur’ aspect of simchah. Conversely on Purim an oved Hashem celebrates his spiritual successes rejoicing in those areas in which he grew and developed. Purim is a day to contemplate our current situation as compared to the previous year. Over the year we were zocheh to learn more deepen our understanding and develop healthier hashkafos … and although we still have many unachieved goals dwelling on them is for other days of the year — not Purim. On Purim the thrust of our avodah should be: ‘Who is rich? He who is happy with his lot.’ Some mefarshim interpret ‘his lot’ in a spiritual sense.” (Ma’archei Lev Rav Moshe Schwab) 

All year I strive to notice what I’m lacking and where I should be headed. Every night I tell myself — in my most encouraging voice — Tomorrow! Tomorrow I’ll be calmer more in control more diligent.