For many people, social gambling is an innocuous way to pass the time. For others gambling is something more — an addictive thrill that adds excitement to life. Who is a candidate for a gambling addiction, and who is not? And is it worth taking the risk to find out?
Once a wife is wise to the situation, she needs to get herself not only financial protection but emotional support as well. Gam-Anon, the family support arm of Gamblers Anonymous, is the most effective place to start, offering education and support groups.
“The family should start the process even if the gambler refuses to get help,” Mr. Abrams says. A wife can block her husband’s access to money, and casinos will often cooperate in limiting the betting of a pathological gambler. A computer program called GamBloc works to prevent the addict’s computer from linking to gambling sites — although a determined gambler can easily enough find someone else’s computer to gain access.
Since the gambler is too deeply in the grips of his obsession to help himself, the family usually has to force him into taking the first steps. “When the gambler hits a wall, he still thinks he’ll get over the wall,” Mr. Brill says. “So you have to work with the family to make the wall immovable. I won’t work with anyone who doesn’t get into a 12-step program. The gambler needs a group with whom he can identify and find support, and people besides the therapist he can turn to when the urge to gamble hits.”
A special benefit of Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon is that meetings are often held concurrently, in the same building. Hence, if a wife tells her Gam-Anon group that her husband stole her wallet that week, the leaders will immediately march down the hall and confront the husband in the Gamblers Anonymous room.
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