There are some things that I like. I like things that are More. Loud noises are More. Hard, crunchy, rough things are More. Things that are More are wild, strong, powerful. They are tight and safe. They are around me and very, very, good.
There are also some things that I do not like. Loose and wobbly things. Soft, tickly, gooey things. I do not like glue. I do not like feathers. Glue and feathers make me scream. Screaming is good. Because screaming is More. There is another thing I don’t like. She is called Morah. I do not like how she smells. She does not like me. Because I hit.
All About Hitting: There is another thing about me and that is that I hit. A lot. Hitting happens from feeling Angry, but also something else. Something that feels like Hungry but a little different. Hitting is good because hitting is More. When I hit, a lot of things happen. Crying. Screaming. Sometimes more hitting. Then Morah comes and her voice is loud. She yells and I do not hear words, but I do hear yelling. All this is good because it is More. If it goes on for a while, then everything inside me gets small and quiet. There is no more Angry, no more Hungry. And suddenly, I do not want More.
TUESDAY:
Today was like usual except that it was different. Today in school there was a Project. There was glue. And there were feathers. I went under the table. Morah came. She pulled me out, and then I was hitting. I lay down on the floor and screamed. I kicked my legs. And my feet crashed into my Morah’s feet. Crash, crash, crash. And then Morah yelled. I heard yelling but not words. She shook my arm while she yelled and it was very More. And everything inside me got small and quiet. Morah didn’t stop. She went on yelling and shaking. And yelling and shaking. And I didn’t want it. I didn’t want any More. But she did not stop. And then it was More and More and More and it was Too Much. And I wanted to make it end but I could not make it end. My face got very cold and my eyes felt burny and tears came out. They came out and out and out and it was Wet. And then suddenly, she stopped. And everything got very quiet. And no one yelled and no one shook, and everyone just stood there and stared at the door. Because it was open. And someone was standing there. And it was my Mommy.
Create a free account to keep reading.
