As a nurse in a COVID ward, I see misery — and hope, compassion, and miracles
W
e didn’t sign up to be heroes. No one goes into nursing for fame or applause. We became nurses to heal and to hold, to cure and to care. We became nurses so we could use our minds and hearts to relieve the suffering of patients and their families.
COVID has changed a lot for everyone, especially for those in health care. We’ve been unexpectedly thrust front- and center-stage in this new production. We’ve been cast as heroes. And we are being celebrated as such, with free coffee and donuts, jet fighter flyovers and dedicated Dove commercials.
But we didn’t ask for a starring role, and definitely not in this horrific play that has no last scene in sight. As the initial adrenaline wears off, we’re left with only fatigue and despair. Being put on a pedestal means we’re valued — but also set apart, distant.
For those of us actively treating COVID patients, the psychological trauma is overwhelming. We’re bearing witness to so much sickness and death, much of it unexpected, without the time or resources to process it. We’re flying blind in the face of the unknown; we have long touted evidence-based medicine as our modus operandi, but should we do when there’s no evidence to rely upon? We are the clinical trials.
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