WELLBEING → DOUBLE TAKE Issue 816 · June 24, 2020

Making the Grade

“I didn’t realize he was on top of the hiring.” The words were acrid on my tongue. Was I personally rejected by my own father-in-law?

Making the Grade
Chananya: I can’t mentor my son in law without jeopardizing our relationship.
Tzviki: Why wouldn’t you help me land my dream position?

 

Tzviki

Back when I was dating my wife, we discussed The Plan: kollel, for as long as we can make it work, and then chinuch. It wasn’t a question for me; my father was a rebbi, and my parents-in-law both were in the field too. As Ruti liked to joke, there was no reason for the two of us not to keep making the same mistake.

But for all its difficulties, teaching was in the blood. Ruti held a full-time position as a high school mechaneches, and I tutored in the evenings. Running a summer day camp rounded out the picture, and together with my kollel stipend, we made it work for a while.

Eventually, inevitably, the honeymoon was over. We’d been married a few years, the family was growing, and it became clear that my kollel days were numbered.

I’ve always been a forward-thinker. So when we realized that things would have to change in the coming months, I registered for a few highly recommended courses in teaching. Classroom management, interactive lesson, questioning and assessment techniques, approaches to teaching Gemara, handling emotional issues in students. Some of these were evening classes, some entailed taking off kollel, but I knew there was no choice.

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