Preparing for Yom Tov is a zechus that applies to the entire family
My life is very hectic. I’m the proud mother of nine, and also work full time. With Pesach around the corner, I have a crushing amount to do and simply can’t manage it alone. My husband is an accountant who will be working until the very last minute. My three oldest children are all boys. They’re serious learners and often learn two full sedarim during bein hazmanim. I’m very proud of them and would love for them to be able to learn as much as possible. However, I’m also desperate for help and can’t afford to pay someone to do the jobs I’d give them. The boys are willing to give me as much help as I need, but I find myself battling a lot of guilt. How do I find the balance between utilizing their help and not causing bitul Torah (not to mention leaving them a little time just to enjoy bein hazmanim)?
First, take a moment to catch your breath and fully appreciate that your challenges are based on the fact that you have more brachah than you can handle: jobs for two heads of household, many children, and sons seriously involved in Torah study. May we all be so challenged!
If I’am reading your submission correctly, the only problem you have is your own guilt in asking for help. Allow me to attack that guilt.
It’s clear that your home is based on Torah study, since not only are the boys involved in serious and “optional” limud haTorah, but their mother is proud of and encourages it. This means that the reason you work full time is to support a family whose focus is “Torah and avodah.” It is therefore not at all a detraction from their Torah study if your sons take off time to make the life of their mother, who works to enable them to study Torah, a bit more bearable.
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